Black Cookout Rules – How To Survive A Black Cookout 

Black cookouts can have various names and themes, including family reunions, church potlucks, and even elegant gatherings where guests must wear “all-white” party attire (which is distinctly different from a party attended solely by white people).

Regardless of the event’s name, successfully navigating a Black cookout involves more than just following a specific set of rules.

What is the cookout in Black culture?

Black family cookouts are a cherished tradition where African Americans come together to celebrate with a meal and spend quality time with family and friends. 

These gatherings typically take place outdoors and feature a menu filled with beloved soul food dishes. At the heart of these cookouts is the love and care that goes into preparing the food, often highlighting barbecued items and slow-cooked soul foods.

What does it mean when Black people say you’re invited to the cookout?

Attending a Black cookout is not just about savoring delicious food. It’s also about engaging in lively conversations, sharing laughter, and having a good time while celebrating Black culture and our heritage of ethnic foods! 

The rules for a Black cookout 

The unwritten rules of Black cookouts emphasize the importance of culture and explain the origin of many of our common customs found at these gatherings. Understanding the historical and cultural significance allows you to appreciate why these traditions are so cherished.

So what are the rules of Black family barbecues?

Starting here with this very important one: 
A mandatory main dish that must show up at every Black cookout food menu, potluck, party, and every Black BBQ is a Black folks’ Southern potato salad recipe!

Then follow these Black cookout etiquette rules adapted from Afro.com’s piece on “What you not fid’na do at a Black family cookout.”

Don’t disrespect Big Mama.

It’s important to respect the elders, as their stories are essential to the event’s culture. By taking a genuine interest in their experiences and offering help when needed, you truly embrace the spirit of community.

Don’t pack take-home dishes before everyone eats.

Food etiquette is vital to a Black cookout to ensure a smooth experience. This includes refraining from packing up food to go before it’s been served. While a Black cookout may have many names and cultural rules, one of the names it does not have is Uber Eats!

Don’t touch the food without washing your hands.

At an African American cookout, food safety ranks high up there with knowing the right side dishes to pair with the main course. Clean hands are essential and leave a good impression on all guests.

Don’t put raisins in anything that’s not dessert.

Seriously. Even if you are newly Black.

“Newly Black?” That would mean you’re a new ally to Black folks’ culture.

Love ya and appreciate ya! Still, we’re not fond of raisins in our potato salad — or toppings of any kind, for that matter. Our food speaks for itself through its rich flavor. In fact, it does more than just speak. It “sangs!” (That’s different from “sings.”) So, no toppings, especially not raisins, are needed!

Don’t ask who made the potato salad.

(Not out loud, anyway.)

Black people take our potato salad seriously when it’s brought to a big gathering like a cookout or holiday event. (It’s not called “Black people potato salad” for nothing!)

In a Black family, there are unwritten rules about who can make it, how it should be made, and when it’s appropriate to serve it. These rules aren’t explicitly stated but are deeply ingrained in our cultural traditions.

Don’t call it a picnic.

Regular cookout food vs. Black cookout food: 
If you’ve only had fried chicken with a side of mashed potatoes at a cookout, then you definitely weren’t at a Black folks’ cookout! 

Instead, you were likely at a picnic. A Black cookout features a variety of foods, including different chicken dishes (such as barbecued, grilled, baked, and fried) along with plenty of soul food side dishes.

Don’t show up and not eat.

The history and recipes of soul food originated from Black people’s lack of food access. Our ancestors developed a food system based on “making something from nothing” using the leftover ingredients. 

Feeding others holds significant meaning and respect within Black food culture. Soul food is a central element for gathering, connecting, and celebrating within the Black community. Through shared meals, we express care for one another, which is why traditions like African American cookouts and dishes associated with Black gatherings are so important.

Don’t act like you’re too good to do the Electric Slide.

At the heart of attending a Black cookout is an eagerness to learn and immerse yourself in rich traditions, such as gathering around a lively game at the spades table, dancing to hip-hop music, and reminiscing over soulful R&B tunes.

In addition to the delicious meals served, these cookouts are particularly renowned for their vibrant music. A playlist for an African American cookout or family reunion typically includes iconic songs by legendary Black artists, including the famous track that accompanies the all-ages line dance, the Electric Slide!

What not to do at a Black cookout

Attending a Black cookout involves more than just enjoying delicious food. You’ll be surrounded by rich conversations and laughter. Respecting the elders is essential, and their stories often weave the fabric of these gatherings. And the music sets a celebratory tone that brings everyone closer together.

As for the last-minute rules of what not to do at a Black cookout:

Don’t put anything store-bought on the table (except for drinks). Soul food is a legacy of home cooking and preserving traditions.

Also, don’t have everyone wondering why the macaroni tastes off when you know it’s vegan. (And don’t nobody at Big Mama’s house eat like that!)

Lastly, avoid bringing only off-brand sodas and then trying to leave with five “to-go” plates. It’s best to keep it respectful! 

Say less.

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